We are all thinking of New Year's Resolutions. Not me. I don't ever stick to them. I last about 15 days and then that is it. I'm really not good about changing habits, but I'm bound and determined to do. One day I will succeed. I guess that is the purpose of goals. To have something to reach for, but when it doesn't happen you can get back on it. That is my problem. So what am I wanting to do? Wel a lot. But more so I need to get my workout on. I dread working out. Even when I'm having fun, I still hate it. But I need to get over that hate.
I'm not overweight by any means but I'm not happy with myself. 3 kids later I've gained 13 pounds and have gone up 2 sizes. Not to bad but not ideal for me. I really don't care about the weight as I do the numbers around my waist.
So here it is:
I'm 5'7"
153 pounds
Size 10 or 12 (Depends on the item)
Not bad. In fact it is completely average. But it isn't where I want to be.
So once again the number isn't bad. I'd love to be a size 6 but I think more realistically it'll be an 8. I don't want to be so strict that I can't ever eat anything fun in fear that'll I'll gain weight.
I need to do this. I want to do this. My kids need me to do this. Why? Because then I'll have more energy. I'll be happier. I'll want to go out and do more things. I'll want to buy clothes. But the best part....I'll be ensuring I'm making myself healthier so I'm around for a long time.
Anyone who knows me knows I'm such a holistic, organic, crunchy mom.....for my kids and sometimes myself. But for me I'll sneak and hide and drink way too much soda while saying "Do as I say, not as I do." So I'm not a good role model. But I've admitted it and now it is time to change.
I have a big three day booth coming up...tomorrow. So Monday morning is the new start. And that week will be pure hell. It is the week before Christmas, we are starting school back up and I have decided to make a change.
But I work well under stress like this and I know that the following week, I will fill a thousand times better. I'm sure I'll complain...and cry....and yell but it needs to happen. I can't continue being the way I am. My kids and my hubby need me to be physically strong. I'm emotionally and psychologically and intellectually strong. I just lack the physical part. I have it in me and one way or another I'm thinking I will need to learn how to love to run. Why? Because I can go right outside and do it. No talking myself out of going to the gym or going to pool. Plus I want my six pack back. Yep that's right. I had a six pack....10 years ago. Well I'll get it back. Probably just in time to get pregnant. But that is ok. At least I'll have formed some habits.
So next week I'll take pictures and we'll go from there.
All I ask from my readers (all 3 of you) is to help. That means I need you to yell at me when I complain and tell me I'm such a failure (even though I know you really don't mean it) because I'll respond to it. I always do. That is why I did so well in bootcamp.
Maybe I need to go back.
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