Hudson's Birth Story and My Unmedicated Natural Childbirth

Hudson’s Birth Story

Friday October 29, 2010 we had our weekly appointment with our midwife Rebecca.  Everything went picture perfect just like every other appointment we have had.  We did a Non-Stress Test (NST) which was great and then went ahead with a vaginal exam.  To my surprise I was 2cm and 50% effaced!  I have never been that far along before labor. Both Steve and I were happy, excited and optimistic for this birth.  Later that night I had a massage.  It definitely helped me relax.  The next day was my EDD but I knew I wouldn’t be having him that day.  So we went about our Saturday of getting things done and the kids ready for Trick r Treating.  We had fun at grandmas and nana and papa’s.  The next day proved to be a little different.  We headed out to Steve’s work and then to drop of the umbrellas and coat back at grandmas.  We then went to Costco and that’s when I started having contractions.  They weren’t painful and were sporadic.  So we walked to see if we could get them into a regular pattern.  Unfortunately we couldn’t.  But on the way home at about 3 p.m. they were coming every 4 minutes and lasting about a minute.  I was thinking there is no way this could be it but maybe it is as well.  So we called my sister to come spend the night and then they became sporadic again.  By morning they came back and both Steve and I were battling back and forth as to whether it was the real deal or not.  We agreed that by 8:30 a.m. if they were still coming we would call Rebecca.  Shortly after 8 they became non-existent.  Very frustrating.

Tuesday gave us more contractions but we knew it wasn’t the real deal.  So Steve too the rest of the week off and we kept busy with menial tasks to take our mind off of it.

Thursday morning I resolved myself that I will be pregnant for a while longer and to just enjoy the weather and life itself.  Steve was getting frustrated just because of everyone asking every hour if the baby was here.  We went for a morning walk and came home and relaxed.  I made sure I took a nap as a “just in case”.  After nap time we went to McDonald’s to let the kids play.  At 4:30 p.m. I felt my first contraction.  It wasn’t painful and they were spread out but it felt different.  Steve wanted me to time them but I said no.  No sense in psyching ourselves out if it wasn’t the real deal.  At 5 we headed home and I cooked dinner.  Still having contractions but nothing that took my breath away.  At 6 I needed a moment to myself so I went and got in the tub.  I was having contractions but was able to have a conversation with my grandma.  At 6:30 I got out and we went for another walk.  This is where things picked up.  Halfway through the walk I had to stop.  We were averaging contractions every 4-5 minutes lasting about 45 seconds.  They were very hard to time since they would linger in my back area.  We got home and called my mom to come out.  By the time she arrived I knew I was in labor but the logical part of my brain was still in denial.  (False labor will do that to you).  We called Rebecca and headed out to grandmas.  I had 2 good contractions in the car that I really had to focus on.  We arrived at grandmas at about 8:45 p.m..  We called Rebecca and let her know how the ride was and we decided 10:30 would be a good time to meet at the birth center.  So the next hour and a half was spent laboring at grandmas.  We laughed and joked and I focused when I needed to.  At 10:30 we left for the birth center.  

Once there and settled in, we did an initial set of vitals and everything looked great.  Contractions were at 3-5 minutes lasting 45 seconds to a minute.  I was able to cope really well.  I labored on my birthing ball and danced around the room.  Steve just watched and waited for me to ask for his help.  I was managing real well.  Around 2 a.m. I decided to get in the tub as the contractions were getting more intense and I was having to focus more.  Steve got in with me which was nice.  After a couple of hours I got out and labored by the bed and in the bed.  I hadn’t used any of my hypnobabies as it annoyed me but when I lay in bed I put it on and it helped me sleep some.  This is where time starts to get fuzzy.  I started getting nauseous so I labored on the toilet and threw up a few times.  I also felt a bulge but it wasn’t a head or a bag of waters but we knew progress was being made.  Around 5 Rebecca suggest we break my water or to take some blue and black cohosh.  I was not mentally ready for breaking my bag of waters and when I saw what the blue and black cohosh was I couldn’t do that either.  Basically I would have to do a shot and I’m not a drinker so that was hard.  At this point I started to feel some defeat. So I got back in the tub.  Contractions spaced out a bit which was nice.  I was able to get some much needed rest.  It also recharged me mentally.  During contractions I sang a lot.  Steve stayed right by my side and did wonders on making sure I had water and food when needed.  At 8:45 a.m. I was ready for her to break my bag of waters.  Little did we know what this would entail.  My cervix was still high and it was painful.  It also proved to be difficult to break.  His bag of water was bending the amniohook.  She had never seen anything like it.  At this time I was still at a 3-4 cm.  So back to the tub.  She went and did a couple of appointments and we labored right along.  Still singing when needed.  This is also when I started getting a bit primal.  I had very low lioness sounds coming out.  It felt good.  At 10:00 a.m. we attempted to break the bag of waters again.  Still bending the amniohook.  But progress had been made.  I was 4-5 cm and 80% effaced.  Back into the tub I went.  At 10:45 we attempted the bag of waters again.  This time we were all determined to get it broke.  I was a solid 5 cm but still 80% effaced.  Success was achieved.  It was painful but I knew what would happen once this bag of water broke and I needed an end in sight.  Once it broke I just laid there.  Then the contractions got intense and off it was to the tub.  About a half hour after we broke my bag of waters things became so intense.  Contractions were coming every 1-2 minutes and lasting 60-90 seconds.  I felt like there was no break.  Steve did such an awesome job at reminding me to use low tones as all I wanted to do was scream.  I just felt I couldn’t do it anymore and I said so but both Rebecca and Steve reminded me that I was doing it and that I can do it.  Finally my body started taking over and would just push.  So I went with it.  I would plant my feet down by the faucet and squat in a laying position and bear down.  I felt like I had some control then but not really.  I was ready to tap out!  But to my amazement not once did I ever ask for drugs.  Finally I started to feel this pressure.  I checked inside of me and felt what I thought was a head.  Rebecca checked and told me that his head was right there and that I had a little lip left but that I was complete.  I remember that my eyes widen with excitement and I knew what I need to do.  I started to bear down with every push as it was what my body was doing.  Finally I started feeling this ring of fire.  It was the most excruciating thing I ever felt.  But I knew it was a head.  I felt down there and at first it felt weird but now I find it fascinating.  At this point my body was pushing and it was so hard not to push with it but some how I managed.  Steve had been right behind me being my support person.  I held his hands while he would squat and I would basically pull on him when I needed to push.  He stayed like this for almost an hour.  Once his head came out I felt relieved and then to feel his shoulders moving one by one was the most amazing feeling ever.  He came tumbling out with the cord around his neck once and was placed on my chest.  I immediately started crying.  I couldn’t believe I just had a baby the way it was intended.  No medications, no doctors taking my baby away, no continuous monitoring.  Just a completely normal birth.

Hudson was born on November 5, 2010 at 1211 p.m..  He weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces and was 20 inches long.

It didn’t take me long to deliver the placenta and his cord wasn’t cut until it stopped pulsating.  To feel that lifeline was indescribable.  

This is the most amazing experience I have ever had.  It was also one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  I had to dig into a place I knew existed but had never had to go to before.  I also have one of the most amazing partners ever.  He knew what to say and when to say it.  He never really had to touch me but his strength at the end is what I needed physically, mentally, and emotionally.  

I’m still in awe that I did it and never asked for drugs.  I would do it all over again and have no regrets.  We found an amazing midwife that was perfect for us.  I am so thankful for this experience and it is just what Steve and I needed after having to medicated births before.  It is truly amazing and I hope I never forget how I have felt about this.

Laboring on the birth ball

Still early labor!

Steve just being awesome!

 Simply amazing!

We did it!  All 3 of us!

Time is flying by and looking forward....

To so many things!  But mostly I'm looking forward to giving birth to this baby.  We have specifically gone with a homebirth midwife because I know my body can do this.  I don't want to be told that we need this intervention or that intervention when things are going so smoothly.  I'm looking forward to feeling every sensation and having either my own hands or my husbands hand deliver our baby.  I was so naive for our first child that I researched so much for my second.  When that one came around and some nurses didn't like how I was doing anything I knew the next time around would be at home or a birth center.  End of story.  My body is made to have children and to feed them and I couldn't be more blessed and happy about this design my Heavenly Father has given me.  The funny thing about preparing for this birth is I'm not so anxious or scared. I'm definitely not scared.  The anxiety part is of normal pregnancy wondering actually in fact if we will end up having the baby in the car because we have to drive to Murray from Tooele to have this baby.  But if this labor turns out anything my last two, I'm in for a mini marathon.  Steve thinks it is going to be much shorter and I actually have faith and a feeling that it is going to be as well.  I feel so good about everything and just thinking about it makes me want to cry.  This journey has been so long and has taught me so much about the designs of everything that our Heavenly Father has put into place.  There is a reason why things happen and why some things should never be messed with.  I'm excited and I can't wait to share my birth story and pictures of this little guy who is making this journey between two worlds.

Frustration

So here I sit, just got done eating some dill pickles and some strawberry yogurt and yet I'm still nauseated!  I'll be 10 weeks on Saturday and I'm counting down the days, even though it is still a mystery as to an exact number, until this nausea is gone.  I'm still on Zofran which helps but it doesn't fully take away the nausea.  At this point soda and any artificial sweeteners and treats make my tummy turn.  And this isn't a good thing as Easter is this weekend and I'd like to partake in the treats part.

So what is this about frustration?  Well I'm frustrated because I have no energy...zip, zilch, none.  This equates to dinner never being done, house not cleaned, and behind on laundry.  At the same time it means I have no energy to do anything with my kids.  I've tried to start exerting myself and I get extremely winded, dizzy and nauseous.  I'm gonna ask my midwife about this if it continues when I see her again.  So my poor hubby suffers.  The dog can't go out much since there is a foot of snow in the yard since she still has stitches.  I think she is as frustrated as I am.  I'm sick of this excess salivation.  It makes me nauseous.  It equates to this at night...sleep with excess salivation...wake up with severely bad breath and nausea.  The things my hubby has to put up with in order for me to just maintain a bit of dignity.

I know I'm not walking around like the walking dead with my last pregnancy but still.  My family environment is suffering.  I'm sure within the next week or two I'll feel a shift in energy and the nausea will start to subside, but until then I feel guilty.  Guilty because my poor hubby not only has to deal with jackasses at work but then he comes home and takes care of the kids and what little he can get done in the house just so I can have a moment to myself.  Good thing it is a 4-day weekend coming up.  Maybe I'll be able to do something so I don't feel so guilty.  In all actuality it's kind of depressing.  I've had this good thing going in the house with staying on top of everything and this pregnancy has just sidelined me.

Well I think that is all for now.  I'm thinking of just getting a good cry out.

Pictures of Peanut #3

I'm sure you can barely see it but it is there towards the bottom of the dark circle.

And here is the other one.  Still small but you can see it better.

We are pretty excited.  It seems more real now.  More real to Steve since he now knows we really are pregnant and that I'm not just faking it it!  Hahaha.  Nausea is lessening up a bit but still there.  I'm down to my good days and bad days.  Today is my last day with Zofran so we will see how tomorrow goes.  

On another note of this pregnancy....Aaden keeps saying its going to be a "Baby Sister" but then changes his mind to a "Baby Brother"!  I guess we are up for a surprise.  I don't care too much about what we have.  I have 2 boys so if we have a girl, I know she will be taken care of, but if we have a boy then I'm set with 3 boys and I'll be cooking a lot of food when they are teenagers!  I'm enjoying it and I can't wait to see this little one and have him/her join this crazy family!  

This past weekend

So we had a busy weekend.  We started it off on Saturday with going to the Baptism of my uncle and two cousins.  It was something that has been long in the making and everyone was so excited that they were doing it.  My cousin ended up having to be dunked twice and it reminded me of Steve's baptism.  He ended up being dunked twice.  Afterwards we went and had a nice luncheon and just got to mingle with so many people.  I finally got to seem the new addition to the Robinson's family and he is a doll.  I woke him up and he just scowled at me.  Cracked me up.  Makes me really excited that I'm pregnant again.  My kids played with my my cousins son and they had a blast running around and being loud. After that it was back to our house to get ready for a birthday party.  The birthday party was fun.  Aaden is definitely 3/4 and thought that only he could have a birthday.  He tried to take her toys and blew out the candles on her cake.  Needless to say there was a crying fest.

On Sunday it was pretty chill here.  We went to a mexican restaurant and about 2 hours later I started to feel really sick.  It was bad.  So we just chilled and my husband took care of the kids.

On Monday, since Steve was off, we went to go see the midwife that I had already interviewed.  We did an ultrasound and there is a baby in there and we saw the heartbeat as well.  Aaden was pretty excited to see that.  We've hired her so we are going to be doing a birth at her birth center.  For Steve it now feels more real that we have a midwife and that he has seen the baby.  He cracks me up.  After that we came home and just enjoyed ourselves.  I started feeling yucky again so he let me relax.  (I'm really kind of nauseous all day but it gets worse right around 2 pm and continues until I go to sleep.)  He went and got a couple of movies and some dinner.  We watched The Princess and the Frog.  It was a cute movie.  The boys enjoyed it as well.  We danced and clapped and were just plain loud.  I enjoy those moments.

Well hopefully I'll remember to scan and post the first ultrasound pictures.  Until then have a good day!

Update

So I'm feeling much better.  Yet the nausea is still here but at least I'm a bit more functional.  I ended up going to the hospital this week to get some fluids since everything was making me want to vomit.  Now that I get up and get my Zofran and some cereal in me, I seem to do better.  I'm glad it is lessening up since tomorrow is a super busy day.  We have 3 baptisms and a birthday party.  I better pack me some snacks! I definitely can't wait until it is totally gone but that will come soon enough.  We are planning a few trips this year.  At least I am.  One is in May.  We are going to San Antonio to visit the in-laws. I'm excited since I haven't been to Texas in 3 years now.  I'm excited to see my mother-in-law but not to excited for everyone else.  Always seems to be an elephant in the room.  Enough said though.  Then in August I'm hoping we are able to take a trip to Disneyland for Landon's 2nd birthday.  I'd like to make it a tradition for all of our kids' 2nd birthdays to visit Disneyland for the first time.  Hopefully my Grandmother will make that trip with us.  I also need to start planning my kids' birthday parties.  I know that is 3 months and 6 months out but since I make their cakes I need to make sure that I have the practice and equipment necessary for it.

Other than that, in 3 weeks and 1 day...Steve and I celebrate our birthday.  I'm so luck to have a hubby born on the same day as I.  It makes budgeting a lot easier for presents.  (Like we ever do anything).  I'm thinking I might send him a cookie basket but we will see!

Well that is all for now.

This pregnancy is....

Getting to me so far.  I'm not a very good sick person.  Especially when it comes to nausea/vomiting.  I hate it and I talk myself out of it as much as I can yet it still keeps coming back.  Last night was horrible.  I laid in the fetal position all night long.  I'm sure there will be an ER trip here soon to get some IV fluids and some Zofran.  I have no patience left and no energy.  Dealing with 2 kids and dog takes a toll on me. I hate feeling dehydrated and I would really love to chug a big glass of water but water makes me so nauseous that even the thought of doing that turns my stomach.  This is my 4th time being pregnant and I'm just a little bit emotional with everything going.  I know this is a normal part of pregnancy but what isn't normal is being so sick that you start to lose massive amounts of weight and all food starts to turn your stomach.  The same thing is happening as what happened in my last pregnancy.  I lost a good 30 pounds in the first 2.5 months.  That is not good!!  So far in 5 days I've lost 4 pounds.  Now don't get me wrong, weighing as much as I did when I got pregnant going into month 9 is great, but it also means that the first 3 months of my pregnancy were a hell hole.  And every doctor is telling you your weight gain is insufficient.  Well I lost 30 pounds and gained 30 pounds.  Does that mean I was suppose to gain 60?  My body won't let me do that.  Even during pregnancy I have a high metabolism and I do have a tendency to watch what I eat so I definitely eat healthier during pregnancy, exercise more and all of this equals a steady weight gain or not so much as all.  I just want the nausea to go away so I can enjoy a glass of milk or some cereal.  I know no matter what that I will lose weight during my first 3 months.  Has been this way for each pregnancy.  Even with my first when I for sure thought I wasn't pregnant, I had an insatiable craving for Gatorade.  Thus this turned into not drinking soda and not really wanting to eat out... 1+1=2 right.  So not drinking soda (which is linked to weight gain) and not eating out (which is also linked to weight gain) equals that I lose weight.  I lost between 20-25 pounds during that pregnancy.  Gained it all back though.

So what does this all lead up to?....

Well I know friends and family have good intentions but please think before you say.  If you were in my shoes would you want to hear what you are going to say?

Here is a list of things not to say to a pregnant woman while dealing with such severe nausea/vomiting also known as hyperemesis gravidarum:

-Well you wanted to be pregnant so just deal.
-Just know that this means it is a healthy pregnancy and your baby is growing.
-Just enjoy it.
-Aren't you lucky that you get to lose weight.  (I don't consider myself lucky at all)
-Just think, you won't have to deal with it forever.

There are many more but I'm tired of thinking.

Pregnant women live in the moment.  I try to be positive and tell myself everyday that this will be gone in...5 more weeks...hopefully.  But that doesn't help.  I want it to go away now.  I want my energy back and I want to eat.  I love food.  I love to cook,  But looking into my fridge makes me want to pass out and vomit.  I know relief will come one day.  More than likely it'll be in the form of an IV and a pill.  Until then I will just go lay in my bed.


*If anybody has said the above mentioned things not to say to me, don't be offended.  I'm emotional and hormonal.  I know you meant in the best way possible.*

News

So most of you already know...but I am pregnant.  We found out this last week.  The guess date is 10/30/10!  So hopefully the baby will stick to my plans and come sometime in October that way I'll have a kid born 6/06, 8/08 and 10/10!  Other than that I'm feeling quite well.  A little bit of nausea but nothing compared to my second but that could change any moment!  I have quite a bit of energy and am taking advantage of it by getting as much stuff done as possible.

On another note of pregnancy...I'm glad to be pregnant again.  I've been blessed and am truly grateful for these blessings.  Also my heart grieves for my friends who are having troubles or are not able to get pregnant.  They are some of the best people in the world and I pray that one day they will get to have this experience.  I don't take my pregnancies lightly as 4 years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a hydrosalpinx (clogged tube).  When you have a hydrosalpinx, the fluid from the tube will often wash away the embryo and so I consider myself very fortunate that I have only had to endure one miscarriage.

I also plan to do some things differently in this pregnancy.  I'm going to try more of a fruit and vegetable diet with lots of whole grains.  Soda is my vice so I'm trying to wean myself and will not buy anymore soda at the store except for Ginger Ale.  We are also opting for a homebirth this time and I'm excited for that time to come.  I'm ready to let my body do what it knows how to do to its deepest core.  I'll keep this blog updated with everything that this pregnancy entails.  We are not finding out the sex of the child so it'll be a surprise the day he/she is born.  So any name suggestions would be welcomed with open arms.