To keep my sanity

So as a side project I've been looking for a job to do from home!  We don't need the money but I need something more to do and I need a creative outlet.  So I've been looking at becoming a freelance writer.  I've been a good writer all throughout high school and college but have never been good at writing any sort of fiction.  With that, writing about what I want to seems to fit the bill.  I have opinions on just about everything and I try to make myself knowledgeable about the things I'm about to partake upon.  With that I'm confident that I can come up with some good writing material but...what if I write my articles and the company doesn't want to hire me?  This is what I'm afraid of the most.  I know I won't become rich over night but it is a step in the right direction for me to able to enjoy something while staying at home with my kids.  Plus I can keep the job even if we move! Comments please!

Christmas is almost here!!

So Christmas is next week!  Wow!  I'm not ready.  I'm not even ready for the puppy that is about to join us on Sunday!  I still have too many things to buy.  We decided to throw a Christmas Day dinner.  Why?  My house is a disaster.  I've run out of disposable diapers and have yet to find the rest of my cloth diaper supply's!  This is not leading up to a good weekend.  I've had some motivation but it usually doesn't appear until just before my sweet husband gets home!  I'd really like to have my entire house clean and stay clean for at least a day!  Since becoming a SAHM I've become very particular about things.  That annoys me.  What happened to the girl that just went with the flow?  It used to be it would get done eventually cause we were so busy.  Now if I don't get the dishes done I'm a wreck. And I'm not even pregnant yet!!! Is the good Lord above trying to tell me something?  I'm frustrated that I can't come up with anything exciting for my kids to do.  I think I have something and then they break my heart because they don't want to do it!  These were things that they used to do while in daycare.  Makes me feel like a horrible mom and wife cause I can't seem to get up when I want to in the morning, make breakfast for everyone, get the house cleaned in record time like I used to, and do everything educational and fun that I want to do with my kids.  Now we are adding a puppy to the mix and it makes my anxiety rise.  Maybe I need to cry.  How am I going to deal with my husband being gone 4 nights of the week, me being gone 2, my mother and grandmother taking care of the kids (I'm so thankful for), a puppy that needs a lot of attention and possibly getting pregnant? I'm overwhelmed and my husband is out skiing today.  Hate it when he only gives me 2 days warning.  WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANT YOUR OFFICE WORKERS TO GO SKIING 1 WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS?  Money is tight!  Not super tight and we definitely have money to spare but definitely not to my comfort level.  I miss how much we made when we were both in the military.  Now it is just half.  We prepped as much as we could but emergencies come up.  I hate having to use emergency money for emergencies and then build it back up.  Makes my anxiety rise.  I've worked to hard for everything I have.  Worked to hard on getting this house and all the nice things we can have while having young children.  I'm still waiting on a long overdue payment from the Veterans Affair office.  I'm going to school and the GI Bill is supposed to give me a living allowance.  That is stressful.  Can't wait until my husband starts getting paid for 1st class.  That comes at the beginning of the year.  Hallelujah!  Maybe this all boils down to the fact that I've stopped exercising!  I enjoy swimming.  Yet either myself or the kids have been sick so I can't take them to the gym daycare.  Ugh and then H1N1.  Didn't want to possibly get them exposed at the gym.  Now I find myself needing to go.  Needing to go much more than ever yet I find every excuse in the world.  I just want to cry!  I hate the cold yet I'm going to have to brave it here next week to walk the dog.  Maybe this dog is the blessing we need.  Here I am complaining about everything that needs to get done but maybe she is what will keep me motivated to get everything done and keep it done.  I don't want anything bad to happen to her.  Plus to keep her healthy she needs to be walked.  Well maybe that'll be our way of getting exercise as well.  I know I just ranted and raved about everything and it is hard.  But this is my trial I have to get through and I'll be a better person for it.  I have faith that'll it'll get better soon I just have to remember that I am far from perferct and that I'm sure there are others out there with cleaner  houses than I and have a child who wants to be potty trained. 

9 days

We only have 9 more days until our puppy is ready to come home.  If you are interested in seeing what she looks like, the owners blog is to the right.  It is Wasatch Canine Camp.  Ours is yellow!  We are super excited to see her again and to have her come join our family.  We have everything minus the dog food for her to come be a part of this family.  I'm sure we will have many years of greatness with this dog and that she will be such a great part of our family!  I guess I'm getting more attached to it than anyone else in my little family since I know the healing powers a dog can have.  Plus since she is a puppy it is like having a baby all over again.  I'm definitely not opposed to that and I'm sure she will fit in just well with our quirky, crazy, and rambunctious family!  On the plus side our neighbors behind us have a German Shepherd dog as well so we have someone to ask questions to as well as possible playdates!  As soon as she comes we will post a ton of pictures.  Until then....

Christmas Photo

So on Sunday we did our Christmas photo.  The boys were very uncooperative.  The oldest didn't want to look/smile and the youngest was having a case of the "Mansies"!  So we got a semi-decent photo but it still bugs me that we can't get a great photo.  One day I keep tellling myself! So here is the debut.....

H1N1

No we don't have the swine flu.  We have finally decided to get our kids vaccinated against the swine flu.  This was an ever long process of deciding if we should or shouldn't.  Since the military is requiring us by order, we have to get both the seasonal and H1N1 flu vaccines.  We did some research and waited and prayed and it seems that because Steve and I are required to get it our kids would as well, on the basis that the shot did not have the preservative Thimerosal.  So today they are getting their shots again!  At that I was going to get it anyways because I plan on getting pregnant in January and the way this flu has hit pregnant women....enough said about that!  So what is everyone else's thought on the H1N1 vaccine?  Had I no young children or was planning on getting pregnant, I would not be getting the vaccine.  Last year was my first year to get a flu vaccine since I was a child.  I've never had the flu but this strain particularly scares me cause of how easily it is transmitted.  Thus this has equalled me not really taking my kids to very busy places.  It is one thing if I am sick....another when my kids are.  I'll let you know what, if any, side effects happen!

Check this out my female friends!

http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2009/12/breastfeeding-in-church.html

I love Rixa's blog!  She is so imformative and insightful.  She did this post on breastfeeding in church.  Take a look at it and see if this is something that you've seen/noticed.  It is more informative than anything but I found it quite nice.  She's LDS so all of us who are LDS know what she is talking about. 

Motivation

I have none!  Not one drop to do anything!  I think it is due to me not feeling well.  Christmas is around the corner and our puppy comes home in just a couple of weeks.  I need to get this house together so stuff isn't destroyed.  I still haven't found my SD card reader to upload photos.  It is getting annoying since there are family members that are wanting some pictures sent to them. 
On another note...we pretty much have our Christmas shopping done.  Maybe a thing or two left but nothing of great significance.  My husband bought me a Cricut!  The newest one!  Yea!  So I had to come home and wrap it up so I wouldn't be tempted to play.  My mom also got one and we played around with it!  I can't wait to play with mine but first I have to organize my office.  See the list just keeps piling up!  Ugh!

The boys are doing well.  They are just being boys that's for sure.  Well this is all for now.